The lighter side...

A couple of these are very reminiscent of typical at-home banter ;) have a laugh, on me!

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#1

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....


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#2

My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?" I replied "Dust".

And that's how the fight started.....

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#3

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started.....

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#4

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale.

And that's how the fight started.....
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#5

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

And that's how the fight started....


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#6

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I

turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's how the fight started....

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#7

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.

And that's how the fight started.....

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#8

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's how the fight started.....

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#9

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And that's how the fight started.....

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#10

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And that's how the fight started.....
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#11

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's how the fight started.....
 
(excerpted from a random chain email, I did not write nor do I own the material above.)

Bravo, Jenny, Bravo.

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I am a strong supporter of positivity. Like most concious humans, I can see that the world is in a sorry state in many ways; but I try to focus on the good, and encourage it to grow. It really seems like the only way one small person like me can really make a difference.

And that's why I am SOOOO proud of Jenny Lawson right now. Jenny's one of those blessed few who has the talent to make just about everybody laugh on a daily basis, is genuinely clever and funny and, I have to say, regularly brightens my day. I was never more honoured than the day when she knighted (well, actually duchess-ed) me via twitter :) But today she made me cry a little, with the absolute beauty of her words in response to a human rights travesty that occurred not that far from us, right over there in our sister nation to the south... read about it here.

Jenny, I, like many others I am sure, thank God for you.